Personal & Spiritual Development

In the summer 2006 I had documented a very interesting experience in which I would like to share in this blog.

I had purchased the audio CD “Ask and It is Given” by Ester Hicks and proceeded to listen to the audio CD.  Within 20 minutes of starting the CD I felt very tired all of a sudden – like my eye lids wanted to close but I didn’t really know why.  I followed my intuition by taking off my glasses and sitting quietly in my chair with my eyes closed.  Then, I had this sudden urge to write for no particular reason, so I reluctantly got up from my chair to grab a notebook and a pen.  I now have that original notebook in front of me and I would like to share with you what I wrote:

How do I explain the current state of being I am experiencing?

There is extreme calm and sureness that I cannot describe, it overtakes my physical form / being readily and quickly whenever I am ready.

In this state I feel love and peace.  I am free of pain and fear.  I recognize that it is unnecessary.  My heart feels overwhelmed with joy.  I use the word “overwhelmed” not in the way of explaining something that is negative or intolerable, but a sensation of overflowing peace.

Every time I close my eyes I return to this meditative state.  Even as I am writing my eyes wishes to close — not out of fatigue but of necessity to stay connected to the way I feel.

My eyes cannot see, for everything is blurry, yet I continue to write without resistance in a relatively straight line. Most of what I want to communicate is how I feel.  Sometimes I feel my physical form disappear in feeling and sensation with only the burning of my upper and middle back communicating with me.  At this moment I do not need to be consciously aware of what I am writing.  I merely have to write.”

At this time I see that my handwriting had changed from my usual neat and tidy printing to some kind of light scribble:

“I am willing to succumb to any thoughts or sensations that are overtaking my beingness.  I seek to be aware of my resistance and fully trust the love and support.  Questions that may have arisen from the place of fear and doubt are consciously realized and removed.  I became aware of the state of nothingness, but not nothingness without the sense of love and peace.  There is a sense of trance in the way I feel.

I am writing with my being, not consciously thinking or constructing thought, but merely allowing my vision to cloud over and simply be.

The eyes wishes to close again and my pen continues to move. I am resisting the urge to keep my eyes closed.

I feel energy flowing through me, but specifically in my heart.  What does that mean?  What is the purpose of keeping me in this state? Why did I feel the urge to write, to scribble? What is my purpose here?

Trust that you are loved, be not blinded by materialism, you will be well taken care of.  You will have anything you need with much to spare.  Live joyously, your purpose is to show your being to others by showing them what is possible.

Show by example, each and every moment by living in the state of high vibration. 

What is this great thing/ feeling that is happening to me?

There is no forever, there is only now.  Focus on being — that is what you are meant to do.

While I am copying my handwriting into text form on this blog post, I started to feel the same tired feeling on my eyelids again!  I ignored that feeling this time because I really wanted to finish writing this post.  I must say I am in awe of what I wrote.  I really didn’t think I was this wise :P

I had included two paragraphs in bold because I noticed that it was being written in third person and not first person, which I thought was a bit odd.  Was I talking to myself or something?  Or was I talking to someone else? 

Maybe one day, who ever was visiting with me will visit again…